Zuckuss Don't be a Boba Hater

Originally Posted on Star Wars Blog Jul 2007, by Raynkaufman

Diary of Zuckuss Part VI: Why I SO TOTALLY Hate Boba Fett

Hey everyone, Zuckuss here again...

Okay, so, I used to kind of hate Boba Fett... but now I TOTALLY hate him. He is the meanest, most jerk-faced bounty hunter, even worse than Bossk. He sucks Gundark eggs!

Why? Why do you hate him so much Zuckuss??? Okay, diary, try THIS on for size.

So, last Friday I was like wanting to see that holodvid about Reginald Barkbone... Pirates of the Fire Rings of Fornax III. I rented the flick, made some popcorn, and called up Boba.

Me: "Wassssssuupp!"
Boba: "Who is this?"
Me: "Wassup, dude!"
Boba: "Seriously, who is this?"
Me: "Zuckizizuzzz" (This is how my favorite singer, Snoop Snootles always mizzixes up his wizzords. It's hilarious!)

Boba hung up. He sounded kinda cranky. So I called him back.

Me: "Yo, it's Zuckuss."
Boba: "What do you want?"
Me: "I got Barkbone 3, mando boy! Cmon over! Got Corellian ales and popcorn!"
Boba: "Who else is coming?"
Me: "Nobody, dikut! Just you and me, man!"
Boba: "I..... um. I can't."
Me: "Cmmmon, akk dawg."
Boba: "I've... I've got hive flu."
Me: "Eww. Sounds gross. What is it?"
Boba: "Mandalorian chickenpox."
Me: "Okay well... You're missing out. Anyway, hope you feel better."
Boba: "Yeah. Uh [cough cough], think I'll just go to bed."

So far, so good, right? Sounds like he's got a pretty bad cold.

Well, then MONDAY MORNING, Dengar sends this over the holonet:

From: Dengar
To: Bounty Hunterz
Subj: Friday Night

OMG, You GUYS! DUDE! We had such a blast at Vader's party on Friday. SO AWEZUZM>!! BUT LOOK! Here's BOba Doing the "Walk of Cool". Way to go, Fetty. YOO DAMAN!


Friday night??? When he supposed to be SICK IN BED?!!!

HATE YOU, BOBA FETT. HATE U 4EVER!